DANCE DANCE CONSENSUAL LESBIANISM

So a bunch of my bropals stopped by last night for an impromptu Cinco de Mayo party. Being the classy bitch that I am, I decided to make some Homestuck themed drinks for the event. 

What could be better, I thought, than a drinkable, alcoholic version of the Incestuous Slurry? Nothing. That’s what.

It should be noted that I am not exactly the best person to be inventing or mixing drinks.  These were loosely based on recipes we found online for cocktails which would result in the colors we picked. We drank them out of buckets. With straws. And shovels.

Highly scientific, carefully crafted recipes below:

The Kismesis :

  • 2 parts Blue Curacao
  • 1 part Jagermeister
  • 2 parts Orange Faygo (they don’t sell Faygo in my state so we used Fanta instead)
  • Indeterminate amount of Ice

Combine all ingredients in a blender and blend until the mixture could reasonably be described as a “slurry”. Taste. Fuck around with adding additional booze and/or soda until it tastes either better or different. Blend again. Serve in a bucket with a spade drawn on it.

The Matesprit  :

  • 1 part Raspberry Vodka
  • 1 part Citrus Soda (we used sprite)
  • Enough Grenadine that it looks red, but not so much grenadine that it tastes gross.
  • Indeterminate amount of Ice

Combine all ingredients in a blender and blend until the mixture could reasonably be described as a “slurry”. Add more grenadine because it needs to be redder. Then add more of the other ingredients because it now tastes like syrupy death. Blend again. Serve in a bucket with a heart drawn on it.